Middle age is when you choose cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
Raising teenagers is like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree.
Measure wealth not by the things you have, but by the things you have for which you would not take money.
Forgiveness is the sweetest revenge.
Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a Tic-Tac.
No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
There is no such thing as a non-working mother.
If there's no wind, row.
You are the only person on this earth who can use your ability.